Regular readers of Paulitics may remember that a while back I held the first annual ‘Paulies” awards for outstanding humorousness, weirdness or stupidty in a blog comment.
Well, I’ve collected all of the outrageous google search terms that people have used to find my blog and all I can say is that there are some weird people out there.
So, another round of Paulies are in order, this time, for the categories of overwhelming weirdness and outstanding stupidity in a google search term.
Just as before, it should be noted that much like the Oscars, yes, the Paulies are also political (and rigged). And, also like he Oscars, the Academy for the Paulies (i.e., me) considers it an honour just to be nominated.
For the first category: overwhelming weirdness in a google search term, the nominees are:
Paul’s thoughts on religion
For a while, I was actually the #1 search result when people searched for this. Seriously. Me. Not St. Paul. Not Pope John Paul II. Paul from Paulitics. Just more proof blogs are fantastic institutions.
list of top canadian people
Sorry to disappoint, but if you searched for “top canadian people” and google brought you to me, then google really has to work on their algorithm.
what can paul do me us
I don’t know whether this person was searching for me or Ron Paul, but either way, I highly doubt that either of us will be “doing” either “you” or “us”
famously undesirable quality
Ouch. Google this and and you get me?
commie
Okay, now this one I’m kinda proud of.
paulitics.wordpress.com
Somebody not understand how search engines on the internets work?
something to do for Paul
I don’t know, I could use a chauffeur to drive me places.
asian reporter
Seriously, I get at least 3 people finding my blog by searching for this every freakin’ day.
asian reporter trisha Takanawa
…Or this.
paul’s empire
DANCE minions, DANCE!
great Atheists
Again, I’m terribly sorry, you’ve searched for great atheists and found me.
what does communism say about children
It says we like children… FRIED!
What does astroglide smell like?
WTF?
funny jesus one lines
Umm…. no!
reality sucks
Why would somebody google search this??
testicular
I’m certain that this person didn’t find what they’re looking for. Please, please, please oh god let this person not have found what they were looking for!
all about hitler
That sounds like a variety show.
Ron Paul or Death!
Death!
And the winner of the Paulie is…
BEST JESUS QUOTES
“For my next miracle, I’m going to turn water into… FUNK!”
[cue music]
Now for the category you’ve all been waiting for…
In the second category: outstanding stupidity in a google search term, the nominees are:
how many legs do monkey have?
Are you kidding me?
ron paul personality
Sorry, he doesn’t have a personality to speak of.
When does sex start?
It starts shortly after you stop googling “when does sex start?”, and start meeting people!
is canada a capitalist or socialist country?
And they say the U.S. education system is deteriorating?
ron paul seems like a socialist
Well then.
But the hands down, uncontested winner of the Paulie is…
Why God doesn’t agree with socialism?
I’m truly speechless with this one. This person has clearly been told that “socialism makes baby Jesus cry” and so they decided that the place to go for the AUTHORITATIVE WORD OF GOD was a google search!
[cue music]
~~~
My girlfriend wants me to dedicate this post to her since she’s been telling me to do this for some time now. So, I hope this was everything you had hoped it to be sweetie, happy anniversary!
Kettle calls the teapot black: Bush calls Cuba “criminal”
Published 26 October, 2007 America , American Empire , American Politics , Amnesty International , Britain , Bush , Cuba , current events , International Politics , mainstream media , Media , news , News, Commentary & Op/Ed , politics , Progressive , Propaganda , Socialism , U.S. Politics , U.S. Politics (domestic) 20 CommentsYesterday, U.S. President George W. Bush took Orwellian audacity to a new level by calling the Cuban government “criminal.”
In a speech, Bush stated that “America will have no part in giving oxygen to a criminal regime victimizing its own people…. The operative word in our future dealings with Cuba is not ‘stability’. The operative word is ‘freedom’.” (source)
To the surprise of no one, the fact that this statement was akin to the kettle calling the teapot black was lost on the members of both the United States and the Canadian press.
So, just to re-cap:
U.S.: One of the few countries left in the world which still executes children. Moreover, “The country which has carried out more documented executions of child offenders than any other since 1990 is the USA.” (source)
Cuba: Has executed zero children. Official government policy believes executing children to be not only illegal but also offensive. (ibid)
U.S.: Engaged in two wars of aggression in the past 6 years (Afghanistan offered to give up Osama bin Laden, but the U.S. refused, saying that war was preferable – source). Moreover, the U.S. has historically either directly or indirectly overthrown democratically-elected governments or given material support to brutal dictators in: Guatemala, Cuba, Chile, Venezuela, Brazil, Argentina, Indonesia, Pakistan, Columbia, Panama, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Morocco, Libya, Egypt, Equatorial Guinea, Ethiopia, Romania, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, The Philippines, South Africa and Democratic Republic of Congo just to name a few.
Cuba: Engaged in zero wars of aggression. Ever. (But did try unsuccessfully to overthrow the U.S.-backed Congolese dictatorship over 40 years ago).
U.S.: Has imposed crushing economic sanctions on the people of Cuba since the 1960s which Amnesty international notes has greatly contributed to the suffering of the Cuban people and economy (source).
Cuba: Was the first country to offer medical aid to the United States following the Katrina disaster in New Orleans. Cuba offered more than 1000 doctors and over 26 tons of medical supplies (source). Incidentally, the U.S. government refused the assistance because FEMA was doing a “heck of a job”.
U.S.: Prison system widely considered to be in violation of singed international treaties on basic human rights of dignity. Also imprisons prisoners of conscience. (source)
Cuba: No “supermax” facilities. Extremely ill and infirm criminals permitted to leave prison for house arrest on humanitarian grounds. Cuba also imprisons prisoners of conscience similar to the United States’s practice. (source)
Just about the only thing Cuba can be accused of is overthrowing the U.S.-backed dictator Batista in 1959.
But then again, if violent revolution is grounds for being labelled a “criminal” then the British would have a fair case for imposing a “freedom fund” on the United States until it overthrows the “criminal” U.S. government which, after all, arose out of the “criminal” government set up by the 13 Colonies.
Now THAT I’d pay to see (that is, of course, assuming U.K. Prime Minister Brown could first extricate himself from his predecessor’s position firmly inside George W. Bush’s colon. A big assumption, I know).
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