Regular readers of Paulitics may remember that a while back I held the first annual ‘Paulies” awards for outstanding humorousness, weirdness or stupidty in a blog comment.
Well, I’ve collected all of the outrageous google search terms that people have used to find my blog and all I can say is that there are some weird people out there.
So, another round of Paulies are in order, this time, for the categories of overwhelming weirdness and outstanding stupidity in a google search term.
Just as before, it should be noted that much like the Oscars, yes, the Paulies are also political (and rigged). And, also like he Oscars, the Academy for the Paulies (i.e., me) considers it an honour just to be nominated.
For the first category: overwhelming weirdness in a google search term, the nominees are:
Paul’s thoughts on religion
For a while, I was actually the #1 search result when people searched for this. Seriously. Me. Not St. Paul. Not Pope John Paul II. Paul from Paulitics. Just more proof blogs are fantastic institutions.
list of top canadian people
Sorry to disappoint, but if you searched for “top canadian people” and google brought you to me, then google really has to work on their algorithm.
what can paul do me us
I don’t know whether this person was searching for me or Ron Paul, but either way, I highly doubt that either of us will be “doing” either “you” or “us”
famously undesirable quality
Ouch. Google this and and you get me?
commie
Okay, now this one I’m kinda proud of.
paulitics.wordpress.com
Somebody not understand how search engines on the internets work?
something to do for Paul
I don’t know, I could use a chauffeur to drive me places.
asian reporter
Seriously, I get at least 3 people finding my blog by searching for this every freakin’ day.
asian reporter trisha Takanawa
…Or this.
paul’s empire
DANCE minions, DANCE!
great Atheists
Again, I’m terribly sorry, you’ve searched for great atheists and found me.
what does communism say about children
It says we like children… FRIED!
What does astroglide smell like?
WTF?
funny jesus one lines
Umm…. no!
reality sucks
Why would somebody google search this??
testicular
I’m certain that this person didn’t find what they’re looking for. Please, please, please oh god let this person not have found what they were looking for!
all about hitler
That sounds like a variety show.
Ron Paul or Death!
Death!
And the winner of the Paulie is…
BEST JESUS QUOTES
“For my next miracle, I’m going to turn water into… FUNK!”
[cue music]
Now for the category you’ve all been waiting for…
In the second category: outstanding stupidity in a google search term, the nominees are:
how many legs do monkey have?
Are you kidding me?
ron paul personality
Sorry, he doesn’t have a personality to speak of.
When does sex start?
It starts shortly after you stop googling “when does sex start?”, and start meeting people!
is canada a capitalist or socialist country?
And they say the U.S. education system is deteriorating?
ron paul seems like a socialist
Well then.
But the hands down, uncontested winner of the Paulie is…
Why God doesn’t agree with socialism?
I’m truly speechless with this one. This person has clearly been told that “socialism makes baby Jesus cry” and so they decided that the place to go for the AUTHORITATIVE WORD OF GOD was a google search!
[cue music]
~~~
My girlfriend wants me to dedicate this post to her since she’s been telling me to do this for some time now. So, I hope this was everything you had hoped it to be sweetie, happy anniversary!
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